Diagnosis of a missing heart

I feel torment on it’s rise Right before it locks it’s gazelle in a cage I hear it next to my ear telling me lies It confronts me putting me up in a rage Telling me I’m not worth the tears coming from their eyes I hear the name-calling and feel the kicks to the ground Shouting my every last prayer begging it to stop But it got what it wanted all along, and can hear my heart pound It mocks me laughing in my face and I see my knees drop This was expected and didn’t come to any surprise These blows given to me put an unpleasant expression on my face It brings me to tears to know I’m dealing with this on my own This sign it shows makes me feel stupid, like I am such a disgrace The first thing it knows I fear is never wanting to be alone Yet how seemingly ironic is the attempted escape of how one tries It mentally traps me like a bubble surrounding it’s surface Digging beneath my skin, making me shutter Knowing when I’ll turn left