The Dictator
Out of the corner of my brain
I see it marching in.
The dictator over all million little things:
Fear.
When fear arrives, the million little things wandering in my mind
go into hiding.
They try to surrender.
They take their own lives.
They are shot down.
Fear rules over everything.
My mind becomes worried
My mind sends the worry to my heart
And my heart sends the worry to my stomach.
Fear has not only taken over my mind,
but my body.
The dictator begins to take over my body,
my life,
my health,
And I'm left with not only a blank stare on my face
But a look of panic and worry.
The army of my mind and body begin to fight.
“Don’t let fear take over on the outside.”
The army is on a mission.
A mission to defeat the dictator that has consumed me,
and those around me.
The sounds of gunshots echo through my mind,
and I sit and contemplate whether it is the battle going on inside of me
Or my worst fear coming true.
In and out,
in and out.
My breathing is heavy,
the lump in my throat is growing.
As I crouch behind my desk,
I realize that the dictator is not only in my head,
but roaming my hallway.
The question of whether or not this is real circulates through my mind.
This is something that the army inside of me may not be able to fight.
The thought of everything ending in a split second takes over my entire wellbeing.
Everything inside of me,
every part of me that is fighting the fear and realness of the situation
comes to a sudden halt.
The war is won.
The dictator is defeated-
for now.
The million little things can now come out of hiding,
and so can I.
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