did you know?

Location

I'm a fucking mess, did you know
You didn't, I don't think,
Let me show you the smile I hide behind
So you can tell me how familiar it looks
Because you've seen it every day that      
I've known you

I'm getting better, did you know
You didn't, I don't think,
Let me show you the scabs that I've picked
So you can see the scars for the first time
Because you've never seen me bare like this since
I've known you

There's a ledge that I pace outside your bedroom
Can I fall in your window, can I like myself too
Can I fall to your driveway, can I hate myself more
And some days I feel like I'm halfway home, you're pulling me home
I want it, I want you to hold me, you know

I always thought balance was easier lost than gained
But I'm teetering for life
A prison on the threshold of color
The line between faded concrete and summer grass;
Every time I try to step away
There's an idea of equilibrium that
All these forces cancel out in a still life
So I run on this hamster wheel to keep sane
But my faith won't last longer than the blood in my heart

I don't want to be like this paused like this
Stuck on the reef and waiting for a long wave to pull me ashore
Sometimes I think
I want to be like this paused like this
If I didn't I would change
Right
I would change I can change I am changing

I'm a fucking mess, did you know
I'm getting better, did you know
You didn't, I don't think,
Because I don't know how to let you in
Past the screen that I never leave
But it's okay because
I'm here I'm here I'm here
If I keep reminding myself
I'm love I'm love I'm love
I'll find a way to reach out to you
I'm now I'm now I'm now

Hide and seek is never much fun when
You don't know we're playing so
Hi nice to meet you again my name is

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