did you know?

I'm a fucking mess, did you know You didn't, I don't think, Let me show you the smile I hide behind So you can tell me how familiar it looks Because you've seen it every day that       I've known you I'm getting better, did you know You didn't, I don't think, Let me show you the scabs that I've picked So you can see the scars for the first time Because you've never seen me bare like this since I've known you There's a ledge that I pace outside your bedroom Can I fall in your window, can I like myself too Can I fall to your driveway, can I hate myself more And some days I feel like I'm halfway home, you're pulling me home I want it, I want you to hold me, you know I always thought balance was easier lost than gained But I'm teetering for life A prison on the threshold of color The line between faded concrete and summer grass; Every time I try to step away There's an idea of equilibrium that All these forces cancel out in a still life So I run on this hamster wheel to keep sane But my faith won't last longer than the blood in my heart I don't want to be like this paused like this Stuck on the reef and waiting for a long wave to pull me ashore Sometimes I think I want to be like this paused like this If I didn't I would change Right I would change I can change I am changing I'm a fucking mess, did you know I'm getting better, did you know You didn't, I don't think, Because I don't know how to let you in Past the screen that I never leave But it's okay because I'm here I'm here I'm here If I keep reminding myself I'm love I'm love I'm love I'll find a way to reach out to you I'm now I'm now I'm now Hide and seek is never much fun when You don't know we're playing so Hi nice to meet you again my name is