Differences

Firstly, even the greatest poets who lived have room for improvement. If this was not true, how else would poetry grow as an art? The message you have bottled into this poem is a large one that will speak to many. My best teachers, and this may also be true for you, were the ones who taught me lessons through an anecdote. As humans, we absolutely love stories-- think about the theaters, novels, short-story, Shakespeare, Plato, etc. I believe that this is what your poem is at its foundation, a story of a time when you learned this lesson yourself. Now, in order to teach this lesson you must insert the moral into a story such like the story that plays in your mind's eye upon writing this poem. Another writing technique that will make your story picturesque is the use of symbolism and imagery. I won't elaborate too much about these techniques because they are better understood when read and used than explained. Here are some examples from the Power Poetry Resources--->Famous Poets tab: http://www.powerpoetry.org/content/coping Pay attention to the line "the world is a round puddle of sunless water where small islands are only beginning to cope" http://www.powerpoetry.org/content/working-class-hero "That you can Sit, comfy, Unperturbed By traffic In the womb-like Back seat Of my Aging Chariot" Now it's your turn MMN! Give this a try! I am looking forward to reading more of your work! :)

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