Different Rooms

This isn’t how it’s suppose to be

Down under 6 feet

Dad, you were so close to me

And when you left you took the most from me

I’m rundown

Mom’s going through a major breakdown

And It’s been ten months since you left this earth

I thought I was all better, but it still hurts

April was the month, 18th was the day

3 o’clock was the hour that you faded away

6, was the minute, you were in it, I would pray

That everything would just turn out okay

I couldn’t even help you

Didn’t know what was going on

When mom called me on the phone

I knew something was wrong

I never thought I’d see you beat

But I was forced to sit and watch you

As you accept defeat

We were sitting in the hospital, No eating or sleeping

I waited by the ICU, with hopes I was dreaming

But I never woke up, and neither did you

Eyes closed, shut tight, like they were stuck with glue

I was praying to God, praying to God that you would make it

But it was too late, and I didn’t want to believe it

You were already gone, gone as soon as you stopped breathing

They plugged you in just to keep your heart beating

The infection spread from your heart, into your brain

Made me realize that life, it truly is a game

We roll with crooked dice, But it all turns out the same

No one here, can cheat fate

After you fought for a while, we knew it was time to let you go

As you lay there, you couldn’t even breathe on your own

We pulled the plug, the machine turned off

Your chest stopped moving, all happiness was lost

You didn’t give me life,

But you made mine brighter

Why the hell did you leave,

I thought you were a fighter

Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

I know it’s not your fault your heart stopped,

My heart dropped,

When I heard that machine stop

That’s when I knew you were gone

No one had the answers,

only temporary life enhancers

But there was no more pain, no more sorrow,

You were free, like tomorrow

December 3rd was your birthday,

And we had our first snow

I wish you were here,

I can’t do this on my own

You taught me to be strong,

I’m sorry I’ve let you down.

It just too hard to stay strong,

When you’re no longer around.

Lately I’ve been thinking

Not proud, but mom’s been drinking

Brother is slowly sinking,

The whole family here is slowly shrinking

I’m looking after my brother,

like you’d want me to,

I’m trying help him through,

Like a good big sister’s suppose to do

But mom, she’s having trouble

All she wants to do is sleep,

And drink herself into tiny puddles

with all of those tiny, toxic bubbles

All of us were living on the outskirts, trying to find the perks

Trying hard to figure out what really works, To cope

But we found no solutions, there was no hope

I was drawn to the rope

I had so many things I never learned,

I longed for you to teach me more,

but before you could our bridges burned.

I just want to turn, turn it all around

Bring you back and let everything calm down

No one talks about it anymore,

It too sad,

Everytime we hear your name,

It just takes us back

Back to the hospital

where we sat for three days

I sat in that damn chair

and I watched you fade away

So I just wanted to thank you, and let you know it’s really rare

To truly find someone, who’s willing to really care

Not only for his own flesh and blood

But for someone who was brought into the equation

Like a package, like some baggage, that needed to be managed

It was so long ago

But I still kind of feel this bond

Like you’re here with me

It’s so surreal to me

This just doesn’t seem real to me

I know you needed to be free

But I still needed you

Me, my mom, and brother too

We all took time

We grieved for you

And it tore everyone apart

We couldn’t imagine leaving you

I tried to talk to you as you slept

And then I tried to reach you as mother wept

We sat helplessly for 3 days

Before your heart stopped

Your breathing too

So not I’m begging dad

I’m pleading too

You can have my heart and lungs dad

I’ll beat and breath for you

IT’S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

And I know it was your time,

But you can’t watch me walk me down the aisle,

Or even sit on the couch,

and just talk to me for a while

You were my dad, no step is needed

You were there for me, like I always needed

I know our goodbye, it was too soon.

But this isn’t goodbye, we’re merely in different rooms.