a Dip into the Toilet

I hate cleaning toilets

because the smell reminds me of you
of the destructive brown flakes you would tuck in your lip and spit into others cups
cans i would later unsuspectingly drink from
drowning in your chunky cancer
forcing the taste of your bad choices and pride
the smell reminds me of all the times i didnt tell her
about your unhealthy addiction
and how once i found the courage
how little she cared
Maybe those horrible things you called me came from that can
maybe you were translating the thumping and tossing
really it was just another dialect of your reckless immaturity
i have learned of a new tounge too
one self dought and incesurity
i am fluent in a speach i will never speake to my daughter
i will only teach her phrases of self worth and incouragment
i will not chase her down narrow roads that i know she cannot out run me
i will watch her frolic through feilds of flowers
i know there wil be bees
and she may get stung but it will not be from my stinger
i do not need one so i will flush it down
it will probably clog
clog up my throat
and remind me of that taste
of that smell
I hate cleaning toilets.