dirt monster

This monster wants and is dragging me with her.

Misery loves company

Every time I’m so close to surfacing,

She tries to suffocate me.

I am in this dark hole of dirt,

Compressing me,

Making me think I’m in the womb of a mother

Or beautiful cocoon-

It is a lie,

But I believe the dirt,

And ignore the pain in my calf,

The nails of this disgusting, vile, thing that keeps me in this false cocoon of lies

I believe her

I believe it is safe, this is my safety,

I believe her

But I wake up from this delusion,

And panic as the dry dirt irritates my ears and nose,

Chocking me and making my tongue stick,

 I feel the claws sink and scratch,

Cutting open infected wounds from other creatures.

They leak poison into my heart.

She screams “don’t leave me!”

I ignore her,

I don’t believe her lies,

Her venomous bites of hatred,

I shut out her mimicked voices of past unfortunate events…

I kick, yell, claw, and dig, anything to get out,

I’m suffocating, I’m terrified, help me!

My fingers are numb and bloody,

And yet they feel fresh air,

She tugs,

I don’t believe her,

I push my way from the earth, I am born.

The screams echo,

But I push forward.

I pull my body out of the ground, I crawl..

Crawl and eventually stand, walk, smile,

Dripping with blood and ooze, I walk,

I smile, dirt caked on my face, I breathe!

I am free! ... Only….

My wounds hurt,

My leg doesn’t support me,

I look down to find my leg barely there,

I trip. Only once.

No time to get up…

The Claws reach from the earth,

And grab.

I am exhausted

The battle is lost.

She drags me down with Her,

Burrowing into Her misery

“Please don’t leave me!” she wails,

And plays past voices.

I try not to believe Her.

“You’re safe with me.”

I don’t want to believe Her.

Dirt, surrounding me again,

Giving me a false blanket,

The ache in my leg is starting to numb,

“I’ll give you dreams…” She whispers.

The woman above ground weeps for me…

I have already forgotten Her face.

“I’ll give you dreams.” She purrs.

And I believe Her…