Dirty Window

In this little town called Bliss, I live. Tricked into loving someone, then I fell in and was trapped, fooled thinking he would love me for me (who I was), but I allowed my emotions to change the inner being. I embodied love as if a bird trapped in a cage for years, "I know why the caged bird sing." He left a clean window dirt, that window used to be spotless, innocent, transparent, and me. Thrown into a place taken by surprise for me, he gave me desired love until he destroyed my heart. I thought love would never come for me in a destructive way, but oh was I fooled. I choose to accept the dis and not the respect, the abuse I was not sure what love meant. "Where did it come from?" I found myself lying to self. I was hoodwinked, and bamboozled into thinking love would come to me so easily. I cried like a waterfall and as water falls I dropped my tears of passion, hoping it would come again. When love finally came to me I questioned its power of truth and name. Another came to me one day as a white knight on his trusted steed, as I gingerly walked slowly like a turtle. He asked "Why the sad face my face love?" I was stunned by the fondness of his voice, I did not speak and moved at pace. He apologized and was upset in a way I was hot as the sun angry for an apology which should have been said with voice and not in deed. The heart fills with butterflies of whether the love showing by this person is true. He sends me flowers, chocolate and writes splendid notes too. The love I feel now seems to be different from the first, or is it just another lie that the other told before? He tells me he would like to marry me one day, but I look at him with dismay. He looks into my eyes and says "You are beautiful and there is nothing I would want more than you to love. I know I might not be rich, but I can do better than the first guy has ever done." I laughed when he says "rich" as if you can buy love at least true love. He was hurt by the laughter and walked away. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into month and I wait for him on my porch to come. After I dis him instead of respecting his heart of what he felt for. I begin to see myself through the dirty window, my first had left. The flowers, chocolate I miss understood, I only laugh because I was in war with love. I could not take it anymore, I missed the love in which he showed. I began to dear erase my past that have haunted me for years. I search for him, the way he searches for me, through his heart. I found him at last, and sit near him and ask "What is it you see?" He replies "A dark cloud that has rained and soon will shine again."