disfunctional life

I was cute when I was four till I was abandon and forgotten now theirs hate, mistreating and rejection started to become common I hate when people ask about my parent's its to awkward but the most I'm willing to say about them is I hate their guts and that punk your with that I call stranger but is written as my father. Keeping my ration in smaller proportion a life frozen in contortion a semi orphan reminisce when my parents always be saying I'll be nothing, I'm a idiots agreeing on the fact they should had a abortion. I swear I cried so much the smell of petrichor everywhere a face looking like a car crash underfed everything flat including my ass I'm a nervous wreck that doesn't get respect until the next paycheck and that kitchen knife beside the play set looks great to cut my own neck as for my fatherly future? it looks blurry because I got more then the edge of sense that'll I'll die early it's all been the same I'm the innocent victim to blame for thing I haven't came lose to throw all this crap into my shoes with out any regards I'm the one always getting abuse I been the punching bag to everyone exporting the pain to me