disquiet

May 28, 2020

I want to scream, I want to cry

I want to shout, Lord, why God why

There is so much hurt, so much pain

Want to kick and punch, but must restrain

Keeping my feelings and emotions to myself

Placing all my love and hate on a shelf

Becoming numb to all the world around me

Finding a suitable mask to match my fake sincerity

Not knowing who I'll be tomorrow

That's filled with drama and full of sorrow

Anxiety and depression cuts the sound of my voice

Heart races while hands speaking, since no other choice

Looked at as a fool, as one who is crazy

Just leave me and I'll be fine, can't you see you made me

Not looking for ears or shoulders to cry on

Wishing it can be my own bed, not some institutions I'll die on

Still I recklessly wave and sign with my hands

That fall on deaf eyes that can't understand

Searching for a bit of tranquility and peace

Or going through the motions each day, dreading they won't cease

I don't need medication or doses of pills

My body has been kept clean of those cheap thrills

What I need is acres of land and a horse to ride

That's my only cure doctors need to prescribe

I'll continue to go through each day, yet not really live

Just don't expect me to take, and I won't ask you to give

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