Distraction

Patients is a virtue I've never held. I'm always rushing. Rushing to be done. Rushing to relax. Rushing to finish at least one place before last. Rushing to look forward to rushing again. Waiting is a game I don't understand nor care to play. Maybe it's because I've lost my mental capacity for calm. Worry has prescribed itself as a disorder, constantly rattling my brain. I find peace in distraction. Eating, watching, scrolling through a screen of pictures and words and sounds. I feel this unhealthy obsession of mine needs to stop. Less worries, less pounding in my head. Perhaps I'd be more willing as well as more able to take control of my life again instead of drowning in helplessness.