Do I Have Your Attention Now?

Hey, this is me, two hundred plus pounds of hefty.

A big girl in a big world

But in a big world that's just fit to accomodate the small

If you're cute and curvy, you have it all

That's become the trend 

But how is that the very skin they told me to be happy in

Is looked at like a sin?

They told me it's albout what's within

but the kids at school don't see it that way

they see lumps and rolls as far as the eye can see

So much so that I was convinced that being bullied was my destiny

So I stand in the mirror and stare

Wishing I had smaller thighs and longer hair

Would I have your attention then?

Hey, this is me. a young adult battling depression and anxiety

A person so beat down and battered

But what if I wasn't so broken and shattered

To a point where getting out of bed was a chore and nothing even mattered

Would I smile a little bit brighter?

Would I be a little bit stronger?

Would I never always wonder why everything I did was wrong or

Would I have been more able to care

About the way I look or the clothes I wear?

Would I have your attention then?

Hey, this is me. An African American woman watching this country in uncertainty

Why is that in 2018

There are still so many injustices that we've seen

Why is it that now being brown is more like a curse 

Or even worse

A target for ridicule and violence?

If we were pale skinned, blonde haired and blue eyed

We could walk around with the same sense of American Pride

But why on God's green earth would I fix my mouth

to defend a country without a shadow of doubt

who could care less if my brown brothers and sisters died?

If I sat back and watched, and kept my mouth closed,

and posed and  pretended to be the "good little black girl"

Would I have your attention then?

Hey, this is me. A woman who struggles, is black and hefty.

I will not be defined by my outer shell

I will not be defined by the temporary state of my mental health

I will not be defined by the color of my skin

But I would much rather be defined by what's within

I AM NOT the size of pants I wear

I AM NOT the way I choose to wear my hair

But I am human being, just the same

With hobbies, and passions, and a unique name

I am Trealiney Finess'e, I will say it loud and proud

My last question is this: Do I Have Your Attention Now?