"do you know how a car works? Does it hurt?"

when i was a little boy

all i remember was sports

when i was a little boy

all i remember was hurt

but when i went to grandpas house

all i remember was syrup

on his pancakes, and his waffles, 

and that freedom 

from feeling hurt

then when i turned 15 

before hospitals were a thing

my grandpa turned

and said to me

"do you know how a car works?"

no i replied 

"before i die

i must show you how it works"

15 to 16 i lived

out of state 

not thinking on driving

but more on getting paid

then when i returned home

 i worked myself in a cage

then suddenly my grandpa tom

    passed away

i didn't cry

very much that day

dressed in black in satin pain

remembering the planes the games 

and syrup

realizing i have my whole life to work

and how my time with him is served

i hate this grass 

this pit 

this earth

what is this worth 

but pain and hurt 

it hurts 

it hurts 

it hurts

to think

i'll never know how my car

works