Don't Be Like My Friend Jude

Don't be like my friend Jude.

He takes pleasure in being rude.

He never thinks before he says a word;

And on one fateful day,

He had the utter gall to say

A thing I wish I never would have heard:

(Just a quick note, right before.

All "colorful metaphors"

A euphemism for profanity

Will be carefully replaced

By a different word or phrase

Words that can receive a rating of "G.")

He said:

"Teacher, I am mad.

This class is very bad.

It's filled with POOP from the bottom to the top;

And every time you speak,

It's a high-pitched, annoying squeak,

And I really wish you'd just FROLLICKING stop.

You give us all this work

And you may say I'm a jerk

But it's too much and it doesn't help at all.

You're the worst teacher ever

And you need to retire forever

Either that or go to HAIL or climb a wall.

My little brother, who is two

Could teach better than you

Cause you're really just a no-good stinking BUNNY,

And if you think I'm out of line

Well then you should get a life

Cause I'm totally BADAPPLE and really funny."

Well, the next day Jude was expelled.

It didn't go too well.

The teacher was upset (his parents were too);

And it should teach you why

You should never ever try

To talk to a teacher like she's just a sack of POO.

Your teachers deserve respect

And you have a defect

If you talk to them in a way so crass.

Don't be like my friend Jude.

He takes pleasure in being rude.

It only makes you sound like an ass.