Don't get Drunk

It was the party of the year,

And in your fear of being called a hoe,

You decided to go.

Despite your parents warnings,

You didn’t want to be boring.

Using your savings you bought a dress,

And went with your friend Tess,

Who wasn’t the best example,

Her bad habits being ample.

With an unbridled grin,

She filled your cup to the brim.

She pushed the cup into your hand,

Disappearing to “meet” the band.

She told you to have fun,

With a quick wave, calling you hun.

So you drank the wine,

And you called it divine,

Soon chasing it with whiskey,

Calling yourself only a little tipsy.

But that was a flat-out lie,

Making the designated driver sigh.

He’s hoping you won’t up chuck

In the back of his new truck.

You’re less than graceful,

And far from beautiful

As you lose your credit card

And pass out in the yard,

Thinking it’s the couch.

You’re hoping your friend will vouch

For your greater than stupid actions,

But according to the Instagram caption,

With the photo of you dancing on the bar,

You probably should have been left in the car.

You had decided to loudly vent,

Telling everyone to get bent.

You called your boss a turd,

All while flipping him the bird.

You’ll lose your job come Monday,

But it’s only Sunday.

Your mother said have a polite drink,

And you promised with a wink,

But you were roaring drunk,

And you tried to crunk.

You vowed to never again drink,

But we all know and think,

That that’s a vow you’ll break,

And a Vegas bet we’ll all make.