dose of Happy

feelings seep into the thick parts of your heart

thoughts blast against one another and fight all day

physical exhaustion creaks in your bones without fail

and no warm moment is without icebergs

words like "failure," "sad," "hopeless," "pitiful," & "empty" are on the welcome mat today

but it's... just another Friday

the familiarity of these things is sickening to the soul

the consistency of depression is draped and lathered across everything in your life

the light air is thick with constant readiness for the dark

and your eyes don't shine anymore

and you almost don't want them to

because the depth of this sadness is unfathomable 

because breaking down is not easier, it is inevitable

because it is not like the others

because none of these are the same 

because one can relate but not fix

because you have to push every day to desire more

because everyone tells you this is an excuse to laze

because you don't have a place to belong to within yourself 

because this is hard and you're so lucky to be alive

and to the people who realize you're lucky to be alive

and for the days you realize you are alive

waters is streaming through your body like hope

blood is circling and circling beneath your skin, capable

muscles are tensing and untensing in preparation

for the delicate moments when you feel again

because they hold the sparks of vibrance you deserve

because you deserve

because you deserve

because you deserve

because it can happen, and the hope for your life ends when you do

because that is a very. very. very. good thing.

because you deserve.

you deserve the dose of happy.