double-edged sword

Dear the one who broke my heart, 

I found you in the midst of darkness 

Underneath the beauty, someone questioning their worth

The way your thoughts consumed you reminded me of someone I knew

Your heart cold, lifeless

As time went on

I began to save you

Letting you borrow my heart to pump blood through your lifeless body 

How could someone so beautiful believe they were incapable of being loved 

Your smile brought life to a world full of darkness 

I soon started to see who you reminded me of

You showed me what it was like to love someone like myself

I felt whole 

I put my heart on my sleeve for you, I knew the demons in your head

You helped me understand mine

Months went by and you were gaining ground in the battlefield your mind became 

We were both saving each other 

Each day became easier to tackle 

Soon a dark cloud came over 

You could get through this again 

Right?

You fell back

I was losing you 

Blood no longer running through your veins

I tried to bring you back 

You didn't want to come back

You were broken, the missing pieces no where to be found

I broke mine off to make you whole again 

But you ran off with them 

You told me to leave, but how could I leave someone that saved me?

I needed to help you

You saved me 

I wanted to believe you were still there 

To believe everything would go back to the way it was, when everything felt okay 

I had faith 

You never came back

I lost myself saving you

And I began to ask

Did loving you save me or kill me?

-m.c.