Dream State

by fcblackhawk4

July 7, 2014

Where is he????

????

I remember vaguely asking the group,

And they all cluelessly, carelessly shrug,

Not really caring where their “good” friend could be.

So I pitter and I patter

Pitter patter

Across the carpet

Because someone has to care, and it’s usually me.

I open the garage door and there

You are

Aimlessly, haphazardly throwing darts.

And as I heard your last thud of dart meeting backboard

I notice you’re filling up your “coke” bottle

With vodka

I stay calm and look up at you with my

Perplexed deep chocolate eyes

and I whisper

Why?

And in your drunken stupor

It all comes tumbling out,

Word after broken phrase meaningless word

You tell me you’re just living life

Young wild and free...

And you don’t know how much I loved you.

‘Cause I closed the door and followed suit.

In my bravado I grabbed a can of coke and

Flipped

Open the top, and we hear the carbonated water

Crackle

And I down it in one big gulp.

And somehow before we knew it,

We were laughing hysterically

Beautiful and

Reckless

But by the end of the night you were cuddling her,

While all I had was a puzzle piece mind and a clouded headache.

And you don’t know how much I loved you.

And the next day you and I

The daredevils

Are riding our bicycles

In the most abandoned, lower-class suburban neighborhood

But suddenly my pedal breaks and I fall

And I still loved you.

Because you told me adventure was the epitome of life

And to get up and handle my cuts and scrapes like a man

So I got up and you gave me a hug

and you breathed

“This is why I love you”.

And before we knew it,

We were 16 and in love

Every second we were around each other,

All I could feel was

Passion,

Undying passion,

Because electricity was

Bouncing off both our bodies.

My world was alive!

I was alive!

You made me alive.

And I still loved you.

And 6 months after that

You decided you didn’t need me

And to this day you ignore me

We curse each other's names,

We wish to cause each other pain

All I know is I haven’t gained

Only lost

Lost all I’ve ever known to face a person who

I can feel cringe at the thought of me

Whenever I walk into a room you turn your back

And I sit in wonder

Why I still loved you

And to this day

I still love you.

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