Dreary Safety Instructions

On a plane squished and uncomfortable.

People are scooting around

And tossing their luggage above my head

After what feels like hours everyone is quiet

Anticipating the dreary safety instructions

The flight attendants try to make it interesting

And it used to work but now ten years later

I find them dreary and annoying.

The attendant starts talking about the seatbelts.

“If you don’t know how to use one

There is something wrong with you.”

Some adults laugh

Children are in hysterics.

I roll my eyes.

Then comes the exits.

“They are in the front, back, and center

Of the plane. Woman and children first.”

I am nodding off barely listening.

“The seat cushions can be used as floatation devices if needed.”

I start flipping through the Sky-High catalog.

“There are oxygen masks if needed

Again, women and children first.”

I start scrolling through Facebook.

“If everyone could turn off their phones?

We will be taking off now.”

I close my eyes and breathe deep.

We are in the air.

Flying for half an hour.

Everyone has drinks

And are watching movies.

There are sirens

The attendants are frantic

Calling out instructions.

I see the ocean coming close.

Why didn’t I listen to the dreary safety instructions?