dressing my mother

these are not the parts that i should know

folds of unfamilar skin

bald in the head and bald in the body, she is a stumble in a step and i

am not prepared to have her whole body leaning on mine

she is as quiet as a desert in the movies and she has those

sad doll eyes and i keep looking because i never saw a car crash before

im still looking

stop my looking

i did not expect her to lose her voice, and with it her autonomy

i did not expect her to lose her ability to breathe

in my mind i am still 13 years old, in that bathroom

i have no growing left