Drowning

What can you say

What can you do

You beat me down

Until I'm through

Not till now 

Have I felt this urge

I thought it left

But apparently not

To draw the blade

Over and Over

But I can't

I won't

I have to stay strong

I can't stop crying

And my heart is bleeding

I even wanted to die

You may go on

Thinking it's over

But it shall stay permanent

In My Mind

I thought I won the war

But that was just a battle

So now I'm on the front line

Once again

I want to give up

Just let it be over

But I continue on

In hopes that you'll suffer

But you won't

And I know

That maybe I'm truly alone

Because how do you tell someone

How do you let them in

They have their own pain

I don't want to add to it

I wasn't wanted

At least not at first

But it just seems to be growing slowly worse

And I wonder

Where will be the breaking

The total loss

The let go

How much more can I hold

Before I lose control

I need someone to reach out

A helping hand

But not out of pity or sadness

Just know what I'm going through

Don't force me to talk about it

I don't need a psychiatrist

I just need a hand to hold

And someone to say

Everything's gonna be alright