drowning in myself

February 27, 2016

Like a fire in my veins

You spread through me

As If my blood was kerosene

And your words were the match

Who knew I was so flammable?

Like glass, penetrated by a fist in a moment of blind rage

I am everywhere, a shattered ego

Hiding in the shadows, living in the night

But when you look into my eyes

You look into my soul, and bring me to light

Who knew I was so visible?

You won't let me hide

You could care less about the world

But you won't let me hide from you

and I Want that to be okay

And it is but it terrifies me

It squeezes my chest until I can't breathe

It's mortifying, really. The way my heart has decayed

But you're building it up, repairing the damages

And making me human again

Who knew I was so vulnerable?

On the days getting out of bed is a gargantuan task

Because I'm drowning under the sea filled with my sins

Because I'm so tired

Not physically, though that too

But it's more like a tiredness in my bones

An ache in my soul; life is too much

And I used to not want to have to deal with it

But thoughts of you get me through

Knowing I get to see you soon, can conquer any fears or doubts that I have

So I stand up, I go to work

I push on with my life when you aren't here, so that I can soon be intertwined with you again

Where I belong

I'll always push on

If it's for you

Who knew I was so strong?

Or or vulnerable?

Or visible?

Or flammable?

You did.

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