For Duncan

Duncan,

 

I’m thinking of you tonight

Because the moon was always full on nights like these

Fog filled nights

Starry nights

Nights to be immortalized in watercolor or acrylic rather than the snap of a camera

And you by my side

Mouth full of cotton candy questions and a judgeless heart that I had plucked at the strings to long ago

Untuned violin hearts

There was a chaotic music only we could hear the melody to

There was a beauty in the air only we could smell

Nights like these

When we were more trick than treat

More monster than mask

You helped me find my voice

Taught me it was okay to ask for sweetness from strangers

Even if the porchlight seemed to flicker

Something growls in the distance, maybe it it my stomach maybe it is your ambition

Maybe over the mountains there is something for us

Antiparallel lovers

We were never meant to travel in the same direction and yet we both jump to conclusions as if from a burning building

So here we are

On this soft night

Laughter of friends stronger than arrows to the heart night

I am going to miss these nights

There’s a gallery that lines my anatomy

Masterpieces of memory hung over holes punched in my psyche

You helped hammer the nails and hang the frames

I have nothing to give you

Can no longer rip pieces of my soul away for others lest I blow away completely next time

So I find solace in the moments that I know your smiles are because of me

Trying to listen when you need me to

Giving you action rather than organ

Intangibility rather than forced sentimentality

But these nights

These metaphor lined nights

These tea dripping with symbolism sweet as honey nights

These each heartbeat is a dedication to someone new nights

Single tear and cracked smile nights

I can almost feel your hand in mine

Guiding me through to the next day

 

Best, always

Oz

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