For Duncan
Duncan,
I’m thinking of you tonight
Because the moon was always full on nights like these
Fog filled nights
Starry nights
Nights to be immortalized in watercolor or acrylic rather than the snap of a camera
And you by my side
Mouth full of cotton candy questions and a judgeless heart that I had plucked at the strings to long ago
Untuned violin hearts
There was a chaotic music only we could hear the melody to
There was a beauty in the air only we could smell
Nights like these
When we were more trick than treat
More monster than mask
You helped me find my voice
Taught me it was okay to ask for sweetness from strangers
Even if the porchlight seemed to flicker
Something growls in the distance, maybe it it my stomach maybe it is your ambition
Maybe over the mountains there is something for us
Antiparallel lovers
We were never meant to travel in the same direction and yet we both jump to conclusions as if from a burning building
So here we are
On this soft night
Laughter of friends stronger than arrows to the heart night
I am going to miss these nights
There’s a gallery that lines my anatomy
Masterpieces of memory hung over holes punched in my psyche
You helped hammer the nails and hang the frames
I have nothing to give you
Can no longer rip pieces of my soul away for others lest I blow away completely next time
So I find solace in the moments that I know your smiles are because of me
Trying to listen when you need me to
Giving you action rather than organ
Intangibility rather than forced sentimentality
But these nights
These metaphor lined nights
These tea dripping with symbolism sweet as honey nights
These each heartbeat is a dedication to someone new nights
Single tear and cracked smile nights
I can almost feel your hand in mine
Guiding me through to the next day
Best, always
Oz