Dying Leaves
“That girl is so fucking annoying.
What’s her problem?
Why does she dress like that?”
I’m picking at my food.
I’m sitting there
I’m picking at my food
Because those words of assault
Are about my old friend
From my days of hopscotch and bike rides
And I say nothing,
I say nothing as I remember.
Who?
Who?
My questions had hit her ears
Like
Raindrops
Pounding
The Pavement
Like His Touch
Her Tears
Streaked across His fingers
As He held her mouth closed
On her bedroom floor
So no one would hear her agony.
The pair of pants she burned when it was over.
It was summer then,
And the words didn’t spill from her lips until
The leaves browned and
Pure
White
Flakes
Melted on top of her
Thin
Brown Hair
And her ocean eyes welled with tears
As she told me
In the entry of the middle school building
Three words I didn’t think I had heard.
“I
was
raped”
My heart hit the pavement too
Like her hands
Pinned
To her carpet
Beside her books
That she read
Three a day
She was so brilliant
But
She only tried to be loved,
She spent time at the library after school
With Him
And I pictured now His ominous
Outline in the doorway
His deep breaths
As he took away
Her snow white brilliance
Her laughter
Her carefree nature
I remember when we rode by and he said
“Nice
Ass”
And I told her to stop talking to Him
And I told her
That something bad
Was going to happen
If she didn’t stop
And maybe that’s why
She waited for everything
To
Die
Before she could cry in my arms.
I hated affection
But I hugged her then
As I raged
And I see him
And he was 15
And he never
Spent a day
In
Jail
By the time her bleeding heart
Could release the story
Of her assault
The DNA was gone from the carpet
Gone from her books
Shirt thrown away
Pants burned
Blinds closed
And he didn’t spend
A DAY
in jail.
Only hours in court
When he said
And I hate him
I hate him
“We fucked
A couple of
times
but
You can’t prove
Anything"
I can prove the smile that fell from her face
And the way her eyes died
As the bike rungs clicked
When I first mentioned His name
That summer
And she said
“We don’t
Talk
Anymore”
And I ignored it.
I can prove
Her tears
Her disgust
Her shame
As she hid that stained secret
For
One
Year
Because she was afraid
Of the thought of her
Pants pulled down
Her naked body
Against his
No power
Just a ragdoll
Just a trophy on
His list of conquests
And she saw him in the hallways
Every day
On her way to AP Biology
Because she was still trying
To be brilliant
But it’s hard when
You encounter
Your rapist
On your commute
Who didn’t spend
A day
In Jail.
So now I will speak up.
I will stop picking at my food and say
"She is beautiful
She is still brilliant
She still has light
Even though she has seen
Horrors you will never know."
I will speak for those
Whose voices are too scared and quiet
To speak for themselves
So justice
For once
My come to pass.