Dying Perfection

Once

There was a castle.

In that castle was a princess.

Cursed,

By danger and imperfection.

Pricking her finger

on the spindle

of death,

fear,

and starvation

Falling down,

into Winter’s greatest path of

Pain and faliure.

Frozen fingers,and frozen toes.

Frozen eyes sharp with pain.

Frozen cold, but frozen stuck.

Frozen stuck,

despite all the life hidden beneath the white blanket.

Like winter,

She sat there, shivering cold.

With straight A’s

she had almost everything,

but with no lunch,

she had nothing.

Isolated in a room

Away from friends

Away from reality.

Together in the family room,

filled with uncertainty,

And pale and dry skin.

I didn’t need them,

I didn’t need anything

I didn’t need anybody.

Maybe,

For once I was good at something.

She told herself.

She didn’t want them

She didn’t want anything

She didn’t want anybody

For once,

She just wanted to be alone.

Nobody,

Could stop her.

Nobody,

Would stop her.

Nobody,

Would sabotage her.

Nobody.

She proved that thigh gaps,

were everything.

Bones,

were everything.

She was everything.

Emotions,

were nothing.

Life,

was nothing,

She was nothing.

Fear,

Was invisibile

Love,

Was invisible,

Flaws,

Were invisible.

Like a ghost,

she was invisible

Yet so visible.

Ribcages,

Were visible.

Hip bones,

Were visible.

Back bones,

Were visible.

So close

To perfectionism.

So close

To dying.

She is

Awakening

as the birds sing.

Awakening

as the flowers grow.

Awakening

as Winter starts to thaw.

She is

Learning,

how to love again.

She is

Learning,

that she is special

She is

Learning,

that she is everything.

She is

Beginning,

to show the light.

Beginning,

to bring the clear.

Beginning,

to reveal herself.

Her storm,

is slowing down.

Her rainbow,

is coming out.

Her journey

through recovery,

Is just beginning.

and

Her journey

with anorexia

Is slowly ending.

Like a rose

I have grown,

But the thorns still remain