Dysphoria

Childhood depression

is hard to describe

you haven't skinned your knee

everyone loves you - 

why are you crying?

I never knew why

I didn't want to exist

in the body I had

"it's your self-esteem"

"it's your weight"

"it's your friends"

these were the conclusions

everyone was drawn to

but n o n e of them fit

dysphoria

gender dysphoria

the disconnect between

one's assigned gender at birth

and how they identify

this - 

this was the cause

of late nights, 

spent crying,

hurting, 

feeling nothing

of scars,

pain,

blood,

I can never take back

A disconnect

An illness

A fight

One I fought

One I am fighting

One I will fight

I will no longer

Lie and take it

I will strive

I will reach

I will transform

I will obtain happiness

In my truest form

For I am no longer a child

And I will not be beaten

By my own illness