Eliminate

I care too much
I care about things I shouldn’t care about
what people think of me
people who I care for
but don’t give a damn about me
when I’m always afraid I’m going to say the wrong thing
when something as little as my inflection can offend someone
I try not to speak
afraid I’m going to pain someone with even the slightest change of word
close myself off
my thoughts especially
they taunt
tease
trap
and torture my mind
causing my stomach to churn
making me feel ill
to the point where I can’t tell if I need to run the bathroom or not
but I just lie there in the dark
thinking to myself
reminding myself 
of all the instances where I could have possibly fucked up
but did I?
or did I think I did? 
should I even care especially to those who don’t give a shit about me?
to those who I invest all my efforts to make sure they are alright
but wouldn’t do the same for because it inconveniences them.
careless.
care less.

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