Emptiness

When a poet is drowned in sadness, gasping for happiness,

overwhelmed with joy, screams of laughter over encumber his thoughts,

helpless, or blessed

he makes art

this feeling, this feeling of emptiness has no form of art,

this feeling has no expression, eyes staring straight ahead, looking beyond the surface and deep into memories and countless regrets,

this feeling is a slow paced walk, solitude in a crowded room, the urge to cry and scream till there are no more tears to shed and not a single vocal strand left in tact,

this feeling is a flashing bar waiting for emotions to be spilled onto it but not having words to describe such an emotion,

this feeling is a fake smile covering a frown filled with anguish and laughter to disguise my screams of pain,

this feeling is a deep longing for your return, for you to embrace me in your arms and tell me you love me and that you're not going to disappear from my life again

this feeling is the realization that, that day is never going to come, yet never being able to accept that because you're still my brother, my dad

this feeling is the thought that you aren't taking care of yourself and that I'm going to lose you sooner than I expect. I can't stand the thought of being stripped of the few things I still hold near and dear.

this feeling is my fucking insecurities beating me to the bone, telling me you're just like the rest.. And then me fighting back because I believe otherwise. 

Please prove me right everyone else wrong.