Emptiness

I go throughout my days

radiating this confidence

that I can’t even believe

exists in me

I play my cards

I make my face

seem like I’m living a dream

friendly smiles just to please

everybody else

to prove I’m worthy

I march with pride

I give my full self and attention every second

I’m a mess

All throughout the emptiness

Always in a crowd of people

Where I still feel alone

With something tangible in my hands

Hoping it will save me

From the void that I’m living

and I’m feeling

anticipating that it will magically evaporate

Most mornings, I’m okay

I wake up to the sun

I sing my praises

to a new, bright, and wonderful day

I enjoy meeting people

I love making new friends

But certain elements in life

can’t save you from the emptiness

It curses me at night

I swear it hears my pleas

It wanders into my brain

just to mock me

As I stare up at the ceiling

vulnerable

the pain has a subtle weight bearing in me

I’m unable to catch a moment of sleep

even when I’m exhausted from the week

and it is 2 o’clock in the morning

but throughout this emptiness

I take the time to breathe

to make it through each second,

every minute, each hour

that I’m drowning in the waves that surround this world

knowing someday I will feel full again

satisfied and grateful for the intended moment of my revival