Empty!

Empty the feeling no one really wants to feel But I feel empty alone but with friends around me I feel Isolated so cold that my mind is numb to the tears that I cry I could never have a child at the age of 17 With such delicate hands to hold such smooth skin to caress No one ever wanted to advise me That made me Angry No one ever told me the my hands could be used for craddling No one ever told me that my hands can guide someone down the street And it frustrates me it makes me feel weak I never wanted to be alone forgotten empty thrown away That was never my decision I wanted to make I wanted to live learn grow escape lies But the pills made me drowzy and put me to sleep I heard a deep voice telling me count to three I steadily counted One.... Two... I was out before Three Remembering blurred faces mind racing high pitch machines beeping I didnt want to do this to me I never felt so cold and alone So filled with darkness and miscontemption I never knew my fingers could burn babies 8 fingers and 2 thumbs were explosive hot I never wanted to burn him And keep the ashes in my closet to left bottom corner His ashes lay still born I mean burn No one ever taight me to acknowledge my mistakes They just told me Shhhh make it go away I never wanted to be angry sad or in pain But for some damn reason i still pay I didnt get to choose the pink or blue and the yellow or white clothing for him I wonder if he will forgive me for burning him Well it wasnt me it was everyone else who told me Damn I should have never listened to them Let me cut the bullshit I just regret it I regret sitting in that seat answering yes to all those damn questions the doctors asked me Because the short answers to thos questions were going to be the short breathes my baby had I never wanted to feel alone empty and cold Now I feel all those things and more More than ever now im drowning in my own remorse If I could tell him anything now I would say: My sin was not having you My sin was geting rid of you I should have never listned to all those voices I always wanted to craddle you I remember when i found out I was so happy that I even wrote you a song But poelpe cam between us and brain washed me And now i am as lonely as anyone can be Baby boy mama loves you & with out you im incomplete So fuck all those motherfuckers that ever told me to get rid of you Because what they did was get rid of me Empty a feeling no one really wants to feel But I am empty and thats real.