Empty

Empty. We thought we knew what that was. Emptiness. We truly found out what that meant when things started to escalate. Actually, we were never empty. We learned this when that man shoved his knife in our shoulder as we leaned on the wall, our eyes fixed on the handle because the knife was gone. We experienced shock. Pain has filled our lungs again. We thought we were empty. We realized...we were still living. But for a long time...we felt dead. The reason, is this man. He took our voice when he yelled. He licked our tears when we cried. We didn't want our dignity taken from us. Unable to fight or run. I don't know which is worse. Knowing your being violated everyday or being passed out, video tapped and fucked as they take your life away from you. And you not knowing this happened until an investigation goes down years later. You cry, yell and weep "Is that me?! Oh, my god! Why is he on me?! GET HIM OFF ME!!!" because they played the video for you in their office. But it's different for us. He took us, "taught " us, violated us with us knowing, we were powerless to stop him and we lived with it. With him telling us what was "Right and wrong". We knew who he was, where he lived, how to escape!...but it didn't matter. Try to escape and he'll find us. Kill our family and make it seem like we wanted to kill them. Oh, i forgot. When i refer to us, i mean me. You see, there are two of me. My old me who is a distant memory and the new me who wants to sleep and not awaken to this nightmare that is my reality. It's funny isn't it? How darkness wraps it's claws around lights fragile body and how light allows itself to be engulfed by it? Hoping it will be able to heal it from the inside. Why does light choose to endanger itself? Does it really make sense for the powerless to overcome the power that overwhelms it from the inside?