EMPTY AUDIENCE

I hate being an overthinker, I wish I could turn off my brain. I wish I could be able to sleep without having to feel any pain. There's days I just wish I could just die away. I wonder if anyone would remember my name? Maybe not, but that's not the case. I'm frowned upon for not being afraid. Sometimes I feel like my blessing is a curse, like it doesn't mean a thing. So I question God, asking why he made me this way. I don't feel great. I don't feel like an influence, I feel like an allusion that peels grapes. It feels to un realistic to relate to. Who am I to complain to. I made decisions that are shameful. I feel ungrateful, why do I feel unable to stand against my angels. No one listens to me, I'm speaking to a fable. There's days I wish I could just say I hate you. But I can't, God, why am I made for this? Is this worth my time, should I give up on this. I don't know what's right. I'm always in my mind, that I can't escape. I'm speaking to an audience that can't relate. My audience is empty. No one hears me. I'm constantly talking to a wore out daisy. My horns don't faze me, my halo is fading. Lord please save me before I go crazy. I look at a lot of shorties like their a peice of meat. I don't look at them as nothing else but a pleasure, and that's killing me. This is not who I'm supposed to be. What is wrong with me? I feel like a tragedy, like nothings going right for me. I speak to people statically, no one hears the beast controlling me. It scares me to know that one day I might lose control of myself and get twenty five to life for destroying myself. It's at the point where I can't sleep without night quill. It feels unreal to be uncomfortable with yourself. I thought that was impossible, but I guess I broke that scale. Oh well this is my life, I asked for this. So it's just me and myself, I guess. Speaking to an empty audience. When really I'm just speaking to myself again.