empty bottles

Trapped inside my own mind, words racing in and out of my head, the world moved fast and my brain moved slow, 

Things were hard to process, I couldn't understand the signals and warning signs that were flashing right before my eyes.

You were asking for help in morse code, and somewhere along the way it floated away within the waves of chaos you sent my way. 

I was caught in a battle, Bombs of words spewed from your mouths, the things you said were like gunshots to the head.

I couldn’t take it anymore

It felt like drowning in the endless hours you spent arguing

I was deaf and blind all a the same time 

The days started blending together 

You swallowed the pills of regret and pain and still walked with your head held high

It was almost as if you were floating in the skies 

You continued to take swigs of the poison trapped inside a bottle

One pack was no longer enough 

You needed more 

You wanted the  feeling of pain and agony to suffocate and float away 

Adrift with the waves that were coming my way 

You choose your addiction over your own children 

Like we didn’t matter 

I was no longer enough 

The drugs outlawed your blood, you took what you needed and proceed to leave  

But we held our arms opened  wide for when you changed your mind 

We welcomed you home with love and care 

But you took it all  for granted 

You took what pleased you and left 

We had nothing at all 

But you didn’t care 

You never showed love for us 

We were just another addiction

A way to occupy yourself when there were no more bottles 

I was just another empty bottle