The End of my Struggle

I look left I look right I look straight I look back Where are you? Then I see what's been right in front of me A fear that is unparalleled What I see makes me cringe What I see is nothing a void... So empty... An endless expanse of blue sky A sky that starts and ends nowhere You realize everything you were told as a child is nothing but a fairy Figments of our imagination Lies we tell ourselves to keep going ( you can do it you be whatever you want to be ) Telling ourselves what we know deep down will never amount to anything but A crushed soul and wasted time We only fucked ourselves by believing in the thought Our shit doesn't stink We can do everything we dream A parental fortification Trying to protect us when they know not what to do They believe they have to protect us coddle us lie to us That protection was lost It was devastation It became my vision A fatalistic idea of life Full of emptiness That to anger, rage, blind rage, INSANITY Lingering A constant sight of blood Wherever I look, a thought, an accomplice Bodies upon bodies Never being the same person Except for one who was always there Eyes always empty... Black Me It brought me to my knees Chilling me Blood running cold Knowing fate was set Pleading helplessly to no avail Never getting an answer Leaving thoughts and tears Tears streaming down his face Cheeks stained red Sticking the metal in his bag Shivering at the touch But knowing what to do But stealing himself for what is inevitable Dread spread over his face He wanted this done quick, immediate he had no goodbyes to say Walking into the room filled with bustling noise Sweating bullets he stumbled to the middle Sliding the bag off pulling its lone content out He steadied aimed fired Screams erupted Blood pooled under dead the cold lifeless yet pain-staked boy Leaving his last words to himself Life is a trap No exit but one One less traveled His death but a reminder His body gone blood cleansed from the floor Taking with it into the soul of the earth Without a single ounce of live And no happiness to spare He was gone