The End Of The Old

Im broken. Im torn and tattered.
With you or without you my heart is still shattered.
You pushed me and pushed me, over the edge.
I sometimes wished that i was dead.
I tricked myself into believing all the things that weren't true.
I gave everything i had chasing after you.
I held on to something that wasn't there.
I was drowning in the tears struggling for air.
I love you so much but i got tired of the bruises.
It's not just you that feels like they're losing.
I did too much but it was never enough, 
I sat down and put up with so much stuff.
You made me feel so empty and alone,
You were my everything but there was no understanding in our unhappy home. Things were so complicated and it took too much out of me, i lost myself trying to make you happy. I can't take back whati did or the charges i pressed. And you can't take back all the bruises i see when i undress. Im sorry for not being a person you could bring yourself to love.
I told you i was breaking. And ive finally had enough. You pushed me away and now im at a heartbreaking distance. I wish you would've cared enough to listen. Now i have to put my life together. And its so hard to function when i cant have the rodrell i used to know to be with forever. Dont call my name dont try to put flavor in my ear. This time im finished and i will no longer be here. I loved you with everything that i had, but all it left me was pain and it hurts so bad. Im not dropping the charges stop calling my phone give me a chance to recover please leave me alone. I wish you couldve got it through your thick ass skull, that my heart beats only for you and you were all that i wanted to know. Dont try to tell me anymore of youre lies, im done with crying myself to sleep everynight. Things were so much better when we were sober, that was when my dedication to you was not over. Bye rodrell get out of my life i dont want the monster youve become to cause me anymore strife. Just know one thing when you look in the mirror you were my everyrhing and i held you so dear. Before i wrap this up theres one more thing that i want you to know, you ripped out my heart and you carry it with you wherever you go. Letting go of u was is the hardest thing ive ever done in my life i wish it didnt have to come to this and i didnt have to see this night. Fuck the games im done. Bye rodrell i hope u can realize how much i did for u.