End of the story

I feel that I'm trying to get my life together but people are judging me because of the way I am it's like I'm really out here trying to do everything I can I can't do everything I want this mess is really stressing me out I don't know what else to do I feel like giving up on everything I love I'm tired of crying I'm tired of hurting I'm tired of having these depressed days it's like I can't take life no more I don't know what else to do I've been calling on God for help but it seems like he's not coming fast enough for me I'm really not trying my best everybody always see the worst in me nobody sees the good in me they always see the bad in me they can't even tell that deep inside I'm really breaking down tired of waking up in the middle of night with tears in my eyes grabbing a knife cutting my arm up just to get rid of the pain crying my eyes I want to listen to music pain all over me depression took of me if you knew I have felt this way then you will be crying too but you got to understand my point of view my pay my heart my car my depression my loneliness my Suicidal Thoughts just because I smile doesn't mean I'm not hurting inside and deep inside I want to cry but you can't see it in my eyes because I cry behind closed doors it's like I have nobody tell my problems too I have no more fight in me have no more strength in me so I just sit there and cut myself up while crying and listening to music but that's the end of my story.