An Epic Ode to My ADHD

THE MOST UBER EPIC AWESOME SUPERB EPIC SUPER DUPER AWESOME SWEET COOL……………..EPIC, POEM. An Ode, if you will.

There’s no blood in my alcohol system, I swear to drunk I’m not God.

Yet every day, lil’ Wayne is rapping, rapping outside my chamber door.

It’s so cold outside,

        PRETTY COLORS MAKE ME HAPPY PEQUENO ALBINO PENGUINS?

BUT, it Was … so hot yesterday that I wore my fur pants IMMORTAL STAPLE GUNS

No johnny, don’t put the blueberry in your nose. The legend of the rent is way hardcore.

THE PHYCIATRIST TOLD ME NOT TO LISTEN TO THE SMALL MAN’S VOICES ANYMORE, BUT I’M LISTENING TO THEM RIGHT NOW, PLEASE DON’T TELL HIM.

As fast as an old lady I grabbed

My umbrella                          bUt!

Too bad it was Friday the 12th!!!
so I sold my
umbrella for around $120.

SHUT UP THEODORE, JUST SHUT UP, I DON’T WANT ANY WAFFLES!

Excuse me for one moment……  gotta go to the bathroom…..

*sometime in the near future*

Ummmm….i wouldn’t go in there for 3….4….days…or weeks….

O SNAP!!@#!@# I JUST BROKE MY 3rd   wheel WHILE RIDING IN MY OVERSIZED HOT WHEELS CAR.  NO BOB! DON’T EAT THOSE WORMS!

AnD SO, ON THAT fateful day, when the zombie apocalypse had neared its end, I found myself trapped in a sticky situation, surrounded by approximately (according to my calculations…, yes I was doing math during a zombie apocalypse).   4584845234534239134764839238742947637894679384679843029846748398634978856654356897894506743896754  zombies. They were running at me…

                                                            JUST KIDDING!

They were walking because they had just eaten and didn’t want to get cramps.

MHMM

                               Yoda I am, eat your liver I shall…

And so… Yoda burst out of my closet with a backpack full of plastic babies. He threw them at me like a skilled assassin trained in the art of baby throwing. As the projectiles neared me, I deflected them with my Teletubby pillow.

KENYANS Running Races

THIS IS an UBERLY EPIC FONT DUDE

AUSTRALIAN SUNRISE

Seriously dude, dude seriously, dude, dude seriously

Dude, seriously dude, dude seriously dude, SHUT UPPPPPPP.

Like OMG….. O M G  LIKE…. OMG… LIKE O M G

THIS  FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL

 

                                                                                                                                         (Awkward writing in the corner)

WHERES WALDO?

I didn’t seen him!

I kin speel reali good!

 

THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL, THIS FONT IS SO FREAKIN SMALL.………………………… NOOBS  

\m/ METAL \m/

The cow goes moo, the sheep goes baa, and the giraffe goes hickerydooda.

            The really ridiculous rabbit ridiculed randy’s racecar while he was racing really rapidly on a really ravenous racecar track.

I <3 Alliterations

                                  I was feeding  MY DOG WITH A SPOON!

Ahhhh I JUST ATE SO MUCH AT THAT BUFFET….AND I told my CAT  ALL about it.. she was impressed!

YOU INCOMPETANT FOOL!   I hate when I’m piloting a giant aircraft…and my mind starts to wander…..and I think about unicorns…and rainbows…and pancakes..and waffles….and pancakes….and bagels……………….and pancakes……

YOU KNOW…THERES THIS OLD SAYING…..

“When life hands you lemons, trade them for ice cream.”

Notes from the RECENTLY DECEASED author

kiiwoenvlspoweiraxx,asdfqwertyuiopaSDFGHJKLZXCVBNM';';'[][-=08909786876876346523453214````zzZZzzxcvbnm<<>?":}{{poiuytrewqqaSDFGHJKL~!@#$%^&()_+|}|||\\\|||[[[[=hebrewol?

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

* = Mail, which you get from ,

 

3:8 = A computer

 

M = EXPLOSIONS!!!

...................................................................................................................../////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

And so, the unfathomable existence of a once relatively confident man was shattered like a glass window. Its incomprehensible story will be forever remembered, even to the most incoherent degree of alliteration cannot be forsaken by the incompetence of mankind. Even in the darkest  hour, in the fire pits of hell, it shall live on, through life, and death, the blasphemy of the antiquity will forever mourn the suffering of a being so true. Rest in peace. Or go to sleep…whichever.

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741