erratic thoughts

9:08am

(11/12/2019)

i never like writing off of emotion,

or feeling off of emotion,

or even consulting my emotions,

because they aren’t always mine.

i’m not always in the right state of mind,

because i’m too deep into it.

then the thoughts get bad,

then the thoughts turn into “what ifs”

and now i’m confused.

i think i’ve always been confused.

confused about what i want,

and what i see,

and what i need,

and how i should react.

because i don’t want to be illogical.

but i some how don’t think rational

when i’m feeling emotions.

so maybe that’s why i should turn them off.

but how do i hold them at bay?