escaping happiness...

it escapes me

this feeling that swirls around, in my

head when i dream, and shuts

me down each time it

swells like the ocean and crashes

like a wave where it's so

close that I could catch it

it taunts me

this thought that blindsides, just as

i wake in the morning as if something is

missing and i just don't

remember what it is

that is gone

it hunts me this hunger

that rumbles in the

depths of my soul like a demon angered

by the defeat of an angel, and

it follows me like a

lost shadow that disappears when

i turn around.

it ceases me

with it's grips of darkness, even

though the lights are on and i can see nothing

but the brightness of it's eyes upon me

only to retreat back into that place

i cannot find.

it shows me

that i am alive but with reprieve, that for

one day it will come for me, will let

me touch it, feel it, see it

cease it

and it will be mine.