esuoh

Backwards... the story of my life. Nothing ever in it's rightful order, nor place, nor timeframe. Nothing happened the way it always beautifully played in my head. Nothing lasted. One to the other. This was the way it was with virtually everything. Relationships to schools to friendships. But most importantly... The House. One to the other, as if a new stone had been placed out in front of me to step on and test my weight before being grounded by hard gray matter. One to the other as if I'd be okay with it. One to the other as if those squares of emptiness occupied all I owned. esuoh. something defined by the characters and love within it. Boy do I wish I had that childhood home...the one with the cute guy staring back at me from the window afar...the one that has mom's handmade growthchart on...the one that my dreams have seemed to pawn. The idea is ever so silly now. You've grown up. Despite the numerous nomadic journeys and that 3 year old yearn for that same doll to be placed on that same shelf and never touched over the years simply will never exist. I do have esuoh with me. Those pawned nightmares can tell you all about it