The Everlasting, Tentacled Heart

The Everlasting, Tentacled Heart

 

What a wonderfully lovely little girl she was

With her long hair flowing behind her juvenile face

With a body that at the same time appeared both incredibly strong and incredibly weak.

With eyes that jump into one’s soul and take over

With also, a sense of uneasiness

With a sense of fear and of anxiety

With with a look of deep, emotional trauma

Pulling at her heartstrings, dictating her every step

Yet, with a certain amount of optimism that put a spring into her every step

What shall I do? What shall I say?

There is nothing I can do; There is nothing I can say

She is simply more spectacular than words can portray

For this, I am terribly afraid

She is soooooo cute

Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!

Her Eyes

Oh jeez! oh jeez!

Her Hair

Oh God! Oh God!

Her Hands

O golly! O golly!

Her Face

Oy vey!

For this, I am terribly afraid

I have finally learned her name

And glimpsed her person

Never have I heard more of a sense of irony in a woman’s voice

Or one as beautiful and lovely

I’ve noticed things about her

Her quivering lips

Her darting eyes

These movements I find entirely exhilarating

What beauty in such a small thing

I imagine us as friends, walking side by side

I imagine us together, laughing at the absurdity of mankind

I imagine us embraced, with arms ‘round each other

Locked together at the mouth in an endless moment of complete and total joy

For this, I am terribly afraid

She shall never be with I

Speaking with her fills me with a stupidity I cannot overcome

Mistakes are made

Things are said

Her perception of me is scoured

I’ve lost the thing that I never had to begin with

Yet I feel an emptiness inside

For this, I am terribly afraid

I continue on with life as though nothing has occurred

Days pass and I neglect to see her

But she never leaves my mind

Attempts to push her out have been nothing but futile

I become uneasy, I become fearful

The fear of being followed washes over me

She follows everywhere I go

Not in body but in spirit

I scamper down a hallway to escape her

But everywhere I turn I see her face

Her spirit haunts me

Standing at the end of the corridor is a disembodied heart

All around the heart are thick black tentacles

I am horrified

For I know who this heart belongs to

It belongs to her

The heart follows me, with its  flailing all around

I scream but there is

Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide

For this, I am terribly afraid

At night time, I lay in my bed

My thoughts invaded by the disembodied face of the one that I cannot forget

The one who has never given me a second thought

My sleep had already been disturbed, but now another event began to occur

Black tentacles appear out of the darkness and dig directly into my chest

Out of my sternum they pull my still-beating heart

I can do nothing but sit and stare in awe

Her heart appears before and seems to laugh at my fear

My heart is consumed by her essence

I am now heartless

Staring into the soul of the creature who has robbed me of my humanity

The apparition leaves and the night is again still

There is a throbbing pain she has left behind

A pain that I have never before felt consumes me

I weep with more tears than I can stand to admit

I weep more profusely than I ever have

I weep for the love that can never be fulfilled

I weep for the fact that I can never reach her to reclaim what is mine

I weep because I love her

For this, I am terribly afraid

How shall I go on?

Knowing she exists

Knowing she’s alive

How could I move on?

Feeling the way I feel

Thinking that it's real

How am I to live?

Being on my own

Feeling so alone

How can I go on without her?

For this, I am terribly afraid

Looks of another pierce my mind

A woman with the body of a supermodel comes into my life

Her voluptuous hips swaying from side to side

Her full lips almost dripping with anticipation

Her breasts looking almost ready to burst

Lust is embodied in her being and it has struck me like a knife

Blood rushes through my veins until I reach a point of stimulation

I no longer feel her tugging at my chest

I forget the feelings of hopelessness

I forget the feelings of rejection

I forget the feelings of regret

I forget the feelings of guilt

I almost feel a peace

But then I catch a glimpse of her through a crowd of people

Suddenly the lust of another leaves my mind

She makes me feel remorse

How could I have seen anyone but her?

Her powerful stare pulls me over and pushes me to my knees

Tears fall from my face

Like a Goddess, she stands over me with her wrists pointed toward the heavens

I put my mouth to her wrists and gently kiss them

I push out words in between tears and pray for her forgiveness

More than anything, I begged she could love me as much as I did her

Then my face turned to hers

No longer was she a beautiful, holy Goddess but an ugly, demonic witch

There evil in her eyes and I could feel in her heart

Grabbing her thighs, I rest my head on her warm, small stomach

Weeping

Screaming

Begging

For everything I have always wanted

Her face shone with purity of soul while her eyes burned a fire of deep-rooted anger

She holds out her hands as if she held an olive branch

I go to take her hand but she grabs mine and pulls it out of socket

I scream in pain

For I am now her slave

She has overpowered me

I have relinquished control of myself to her

No longer am I my own person

There is only her

For this, I am terribly afraid

Now forever am trapped here

In a cavern deep inside the Earth

Limbs outstretched, tied to tentacles stretching from far away and distant walls

Without clothing, without sustenance, without hope of ever seeing the light of day again

I scream but my voice does nothing but echo off the walls and reverberate into nothing

I weep for I have made this prison for myself

I must suffer for what I have done

Her heart is here with me

Sitting directly my line of vision

The tentacles swaying back and forth in front of me

Back and forth

Back and forth

Trying to turn my head is fruitless

Everywhere I turn the creature follows

I can do nothing but stare at it for eternity

At the undying, uncaring, everlasting tentacled heart of my love

For this, I am terribly afraid

 

Unless of course, I’m just being fucking ridiculous

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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