To Everyone I Wasn't Good Enough For

To everyone I wasn’t good enough for,

You hurt me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how hard I fell and how hard it hurt when you didn’t catch me. I want to scream to you and make you feel this pain. Show you how much I cried, how lost I felt.

Although, if I let you know how horrible you made me feel, that would hurt me even more; because you wouldn’t care. It would hurt me more because I know you have felt this pain before. I know you have felt this lonely and still you wouldn’t care about me.

You wouldn’t care about me as much as I cared about you because I wasn’t good enough- it’s that simple. You left me with no warning even though we had gone through a lot. I tried so hard to make you happy, to be funny, and smart, and pretty, and deserving of your love. To make you stick around, to make me worth your time. However, it didn’t matter. No matter how hard I tried I wasn’t good enough. There was always someone better.

Although, it’s okay now. I understand. It’s sad, but I can finally say “I’m used to it.” It’s not a shock when someone leaves my life anymore. I can look at you now and get sad, but deep down I really know that through all the BS you put me through I didn’t deserve you. I really hope you are happy now. I hope the new people in your life treat you well. I hope they are all pretty, smart, and cool enough for you. Because  I can still see when you are going through something hard and I hope they are there for you.

Thank you for teaching me about how much I’m worth. I know now I deserve someone not looking for attention. I know I deserve to be around people who love me for me. I now look for people who don’t care about the falsities in life. I look for the people who want to experience real happiness not the one seen by others. You may have broken me, but you also taught me many lessons. Now, I say Thank You to everyone I wasn’t good enough for.