Everything I could never say

So much more than a few inches

Separates me from you

In those inches lie 








miles 












and miles 


of social conventions. rules. expectations.
mountainous blockades
hidden in just a few inches
painfully shrinking my heart
into smaller
and smaller
places


I love you. 
I am right next to you
But I cannot let you feel my love 
Not the love itself, perhaps 
But just its overwhelming magnitude
straining beyond the borders
of a minuscule room.

The closet is a dark place
where one keeps the monster inside
Sometimes, it manages to get a toe out
Horrified, you glance around 
To see if anyone noticed.
They didn't. 
With a sigh of relief 
The monster is stuffed back in,
hidden
in the deepest parts of yourself
where no one else can see.

One day I will grow stronger
than these self-imposed limitations
And when the monster overcomes me… 


I don’t know



what is going to happen.