Everything To Nothing

It's hard for someone, to go from your life, to your death, it's hard to see someone as everything, to seeing them as nothing, can't forget the good times, sure as hell can't forget the bad, still feel jealous after a month, their smell intoxicated you , made you weak, but now, all it does is bring you to tears brings you sorrow, and sickens you. Because that smell was what you smelled when you were over at their house. What you smelled when feeling their warm embrace. What you smelled.. when you held them.. and it hurts you. That smell, used to be the representation of your happiness... and more than that.. everything you see, that can possibly remind you of them. Brings you to tears.. from something as big as a love note, to something as meaningless as something you wore one day you saw them.. almost everything is then soaked in sadness. But the thing that hurts the most. Is when you see them. When you get a simple text message from them. You see them and all you want to do is run up to them, hold them, kiss them. Make all your happiness come back again... but you can't.. and you would love to tell yourself, that if they asked for you back you would refuse for all they have done to hurt you.. but in reality.. you have a little hope. In the back of your mind. That they will ask for you back.. that you can fix it.. even though.. all they seemed to be was detrimental, you were in love.. and you were happy.. you want to hate them.. but you can't.. can't break those emotions.. you hate that you love them... hate that they hurt you.. but love that they loved you.. you don't want to remember the bad.. want to remember the good.. but even that brings you sadness... try to say that "I brought something good out of that" but in reality.. you still wish they were there to bring you more good..