Evicted

Dear Anxiety,

I know we seem to be the best of friends,

especially by how much time we spend together.

But we are really the worst of enemies,

You were by my side ever since I was young.

The doctors said it was just how I was made,

My body just didn't make enough serotonin.

It sounded so simple,

Yet wit was so hard for me to understand you.

For as long as I can remember you have been clamoring for my attention,

When you become loud the world gets quiet.

Trying to live in the moment is like listening to a ration with static.

Why won't you leave

You have overstayed your welcome

Crashing every party,

None of my friends like you.

Sticking to me day day after day,

Peering over me at night.

You are just loud.

Why are you so loud?

Why do I have to live with you?

I never asked you to come along.

You don't pay rent,

And yet I can’t seem to get you evicted.

Sometimes you appear to be gone,

But you were just on vacation.

Though we have been together a long time,

I think we need to break up,

This time it’s not just “a break”.

I don’t know what life is like without you,

But I am willing to learn.

I feel alive when I am without you.

I find strength in embracing the spontaneity of life,

I don’t need to know what is next.

Why would I worry about the ambiguous future?

I am hard-working and powerful and I don’t need you.

I am sick of the lies you have struck me with all of these years.

I can’t go back to you,

I won't listen to the cries of “I miss you”, “I’m sorry” and “take me back”.

We are done for good this time.

Best of wishes,

Amelia