exhaust

what a fucking life
and how sad is this conductor
to steal two planets from your eyes
mold them into space/\cast you down
and force you to live under them 
but fuck for real
it’s like I’m being ripped apart
and god how you desert me
like I never deserved you
and here I am still
under wedding bells
cancer
in anne sextons car
next to the vodka and sleeping pills
next to an angel
who speaks not of herself
who asks nothing of anyone else
who sold her keys to heaven 
to drink from this worthless well
and god this heaven is enred
over a thousand dead miles
over places I cannot forget
under plumes of swaying darkness
wild and always distanced