Exhaustion

i keep thinking

i can swim stronger

hold my breath longer

if i keep pushing

pushing

the harder i kick

i accomplish much

yet find

i can no longer reach the bottom

i am out of my depth

unmoored

i cannot reach the shore

and i have no place to rest

how do i unwind from here

feel the solid ground beneath my feet again

do i continue to kick

or lay back and rest

i am afraid

that i have invited myself 

too far out

and i will drown

i have kicked

until i can no longer

now i must hope

that i am seen

and rescued

that the tide that pulled me away

will deliver me home again

and yet i question:

where is safety?

where i can feel the ground beneath my feet, solid and sure?

or where i am challenged at every breath 

yet held by the very thing that has the power to kill me?