Expectations

My imperfections

They lie beneath

Veins and arteries and flesh

I have locked them behind

The solidified bars of my ribs

They reach out through the spaces

And try to lock lips with confidence

They are a perfect storm together

 

But instead they inject their fingers like heroine needles

In the brightest parts of my heart

They spread fear like forest fire

And at one time

I let them burn

I let them consume the most high of me

 

Decrown mother’s work and whisperings

Before I sleep

"My beauty you are a Queen"

I had forgotten

 

Forgotten how it feels to feel beautiful

So I let the world teach me

Let it spread white spackle through the cracks and kinks

Of Afro-Taino locks and release my worry

Because this was the key to acceptance

 

I let the world teach me

That having your culture on the tips of your lips

Equates to ignorance

There is only one beautiful accent

American

 

I let the world teach me

 

Dance like this

Smile bigger

Stride longer

Shoes smaller

Breast bigger

Waist smaller

Girl where are your hips?

Plump those lips

 

The world cannot see your beauty

It needs to see your beauty

It needs to define it

 

So that you can fall into a system

That likes its women weak and obese on the question

How can I be beautiful?

 

The world likes its women weak on the question

Obese on the question

Afraid of the question 

Because strong and confident 

We are dangerous

A clichéd force to be reckoned with

 

So do not let them vaccumm your power with the only thing

They think you deem relevant

 

I have fought to feel beautiful on my own standards

And the hardest part was deprogramming myself

From the teachings of a world

That sets unrealistic expectations to its children

 

I locked insecurities away right next to my heart

Who is strong enough now to overpower its impractical ideologies

Of how to help me feel comfortable in my own skin

 

And if pages of magazines do not hold mirrors

Then why do we attempt to find ourselves in them

 

So instead

Read the pages of

your mother's and sister's history

And where you see strong

Where you see confident

Where you see liberated 

That is where now you will find me 

Because I am a beautiful woman

And I finally believe it 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

meganluttinen

This is so awesome! 

k.j.rodriguez

Thank You! :)

I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

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