Experience.

Monday, April 29, 2013 [rant]. the thing is that people make a big deal out of patriarchy and sexism and generalizations about men being “wrong”, but they honestly hold so much truth. especially (emphasize especially), i have been noticing this. i work at a [rather shady] grocery store, and a lot of the male customers i have come in do make me feel uncomfortable, not simply through verbalization, but through non-verbal cues as well. it’s very unsettling, to say the least. accompanied by a grin embraced with such thoughtfulness, i cringe at what they could be thinking whilst making eye contact with me for far too long. others strike up conversation that is not only unacceptable for a middle-aged stranger to engage in with a barely legal woman, but as she is vulnerably bagging groceries, with no where to hide. “what’s your name”, followed by “you’re so beautiful”. worse still, there are a few (still too many), that are completely shameless, speaking vulgarly toward me, in such a derogative manner that i am caught off guard and unable to stand up for myself. one man came to my line, grumbling “god damn! shit, oh fuck!”, until i became so uncomfortable that i said, “i’m sorry, excuse me?”. i was then forced to listen to him call me “tight and sexy”, while he looked my body up and down. there was no one else around. i become so ashamed of who i am that i concede to carry on conversation and continue to be a polite human being, instead of standing my ground, even to the slightest, and saying “i am uncomfortable with the things you are saying. please stop.” i fear that i would be complained against, maybe slammed with “bitch”, or, as unwelcome as this thought is, followed home and raped. and so my point is, i have never had a man come and tell me about the woman at the store or on the street making him feel so uncomfortable and so unworthy, that he didn’t want to be a male anymore. Posted by taylor trevizo at 3:30 AM No comments: Email This BlogThis! Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Labels: women Sunday, April 28, 2013 experience. there is this exhausting search for the purpose of life, and i am guilty of this relentless cycle of questioning and never finding. i am so damn tired! "can i not stop?" questions and more questions, but tonight i abruptly declared. "life is experience upon experience." while i do believe a lucky few experiences are everlasting, i must admit that this is rarely the case. and this leads me to clarity, that no experience is a negative. instead it was a positive that has dwindled, signaling the time for something new to come along. although it often leaves us, memories are made to remind us that happiness does come along; this will never stop. what i am saying is, do not worry about endings. they come, during lifetime or at death, they certainly come. and when they do, be thankful. and when they do, be excited.