Expiration Date

You never truly realize what you had until it's gone,
And rigor mortis sets in.
And you never see the signs until its three years too late,
And this corpse begins pushing daisies.
Now I never spoke of it for fear of breaking your heart,
And ignorance must truly be bliss,
Because you never allowed yourself to see these blood stained sheets.
You filled your head with your reassured, self convinced truths.
Maybe if you say it enough times,
These wounds will heal and these voices will go away.
But for the sake of your sanity,
I'll risk mine.
I'll wait till you've fallen asleep,
And let your snores drown out the sounds of these antagonizing silent screams,
Vibrating in my vocal cords,
Never reaching a full decibel level audible by your ears,
But loud enough to make this house shake.
And I'll make sure that while this razor sashays across my skin,
That I'll smile just the same as the day we met.
And that I won't let the fire you saw behind the doors of my eyes burn out.
I promise to you that I will bow out gracefully,
Like a lady.
Because isn't it always better to admit defeat?
See 'cause it was always my choice to subtract my self from the equation.
I just happened to be the variable that just didn't quite add up,
To your expectations that is.
Because you were always on the y-axis,
And my 2 x's remained unsolved.
But then again,
You never were that good at math.
In fact the only equation you could figure out was:
The subtraction of our clothes,
the division of my legs,
and praying to God we didn't multiply.
We never did sum up evenly.
Irrational numbers,
Resulting in fraction lines and equal signs across my wrists.
But I never did find an answer to my tears.
And trying to calculate the months that this letter has been written,
Never equals a difference,
Because whoever said suicide notes expire?